The evils of business speak

Those of us who have worked in offices have all heard it. It's that faux-lofty, pretentious way our managers and superiors (and sometimes peers, those traitors) talk when describing everything from business scenarios to what they've had for lunch. We call it business speak. If somehow you don't know what I'm talking about, count yourself lucky and stop reading. I wouldn't want to introduce you to something so inherently wicked.

Ever heard someone say he needs to get "buy-in" on an idea? Well, that just means he's looking for people to support or commit to it. Do you ever hear that one of your colleagues is such a stud because he's a "big-picture thinker?" I'm pretty sure that just translates to sitting in an office thinking up ideas while other people make sure his work is covered and correct.

The worst examples of business speak involve words that, while real, are used in ways they were never intended. Have you heard someone use "impact," "leverage," or "dialogue" as verbs (e.g., "Bob, you need to leverage your ability to dialogue with others in order to impact as more assertive.")? That's because many people mistakenly think that using big, fancy-sounding words and jargon make them look smarter and more self-assured. I find, however, that people who use business speak often sound confused and ambiguous. "Around" often falls prey to misuse as well, and by some of the smarter people I've met during my working career. In the business world, it's common to hear people say that they want to discuss topics "around" a certain issue. What they mean is that they want to talk about something. It seems to me that talking "around" something means not mentioning it at all.

The moral of this post is that we, as the correct usage champions of the world, need to avoid using words in ways they should not be. And we need to discourage new nonsensical words from being introduced into the business lexicon. I don't expect you to be a jerk about it, but I do hope you won't fall into the trap of adopting this nonlanguage. Also, who knows? Your refusal to conform to business speak may encourage those around you to use English as it was intended. Just say what you mean (within reason, since you're still at work), and, at the very least, you won't be adding to the mess.